taking over the blog

ah Ha! I have finally done it!  I worked hard all week to keep Mom up all hours of the day and night so that she would finally zonk out and I could sneak onto the computer and take over the blog... who knew I would get to write the last blog post for 2012!

2012 has been a big year for me!  I started the year off being entertained by my Aunties in Taiwan.  They are some of the most special ladies.  They snuggled me, and tickled me, and took soooo many pictures.  They also insisted that they dress me up in all of these cute outfits and put my hair ( which was barely there) in pretty bows.  I was joined in the nursery by some new friends at the beginning of the year, all of us kids kept the nannies on their toes.  We chatted, cried, wrestled, ate, and made the nursery smelly!

Yes I would love to take another picture with you Mom!

We hosted a couple of bon voyage parties for my friends who joined their forever families. They all had really nice Mommies and Daddies who took them to their new home.  I miss seeing them everyday but I know they are having the best time with their families.  Auntie Holly and Auntie Trena kept telling me that my forever family was coming soon, but until they came to get me, I enjoyed the special attention I got from everyone in Taiwan.

I met Mommy and Daddy in the train station in July.  Auntie Holly and Auntie Trena got me all dolled up before we went, and even put on my special shirt that said my name on it, just incase they didn't recognize me. They had lots of smiles and hugs and kisses for me, but most importantly they brought me a toy that I can squeak all day and chew on, her name is Sophie!

last picture of 2012

I spent a wonderful month with Mom and Dad is Taiwan.  But as hard it was, at the end of the month Dad, Mom and I said goodbye and started off on a new adventure.

Since then, I have travelled the world, met many wonderful people, and settled in to my new home.  I have learned to eat new food, walk, run, climb and run away from Daddy's kisses.  Most nights I give mom a break and sleep pretty good, but some nights I just love to party.  I love to dance and sing, and play the piano.  I love bath time and swimming when Mom gets around to taking me.  The weather at home is not the greatest, it is cold and there is snow everywhere, but Papa got a new dog sled that he is going to take me on someday soon.

2012 was an unforgettable year for Me, but I know this upcoming year is going to be another great adventure.  I cant wait to make new friends, learn new things, and keep my mommy on her toes.

Happy New Year!

Mom and I Christmas Day

Merry Christmas!!

5 years ago we stood before our family and friends and promised to love, honour and respect each other.  It was a day filled with love, joy and all the possibilities of tomorrow.

December 24, 2007
Photo courtesy Brian Heska

The last 5 years has been filled with many unexpected turns.  Our journey has included many hurdles to jump, a lot of learning and compromise,  joy and if you know us even a little tons of laughter.  In our 5 years of marriage we have both been through major health issues and spent more time pacing hospital hallways then we ever wanted to, we have enjoyed settling into a new church, we have learned new skills (kayaking, cross country skiing, gardening, and rock picking ), we enjoyed the years we had in our little skid shack aka the love shack, and after 2 years of hard work and a lot of help from our family we moved in to our beautiful new home.  

But the most amazing journey we have gone through is adopting our little girl!  I will always be reminded how challenging the adoption process was on us as a couple and how much we grew together as husband and wife.  Today I am celebrating my anniversary with my best friend, a man who challenges me and loves me, who makes me laugh, and sometimes cry, who is a wonderful dad, and provider for our family.  This morning we woke up much too early and brought our little girl in between us in bed and turned on her favourite movie so we could enjoy some snuggles.   What a blessing it is, to be a family of three.  What a blessing we have been given in our little girl who loves to sing and dance, who is a climber, and the messiest eater I have ever seen.  She is full of laughter and giggles and of course some very firm opinions on how we should do things and when. 

eating popcorn twists! Yum!
Photo courtesy Crystal Kowal

Merry Christmas to each and everyone of you!  Praying that your hearts are full of love and joy and your home filled with laughter.  Wishing you all the best for the coming new year!

family night

Last Friday we had a little family night.  We ordered in Chinese Food, opened up the box of milk tea we brought from Taiwan, shared laughs and made new memories.

The Chinese food was supposed to be a treat, no cooking for Momma, yummy chow mien for Daddy, and rice for Grace.  However we quickly realized that Grace is very aware that our canadian chinese food is nothing like the amazing food in Taiwan and this video is proof that she will eat it, but she doesn't have to enjoy it!

Yummy Milk Tea!  If only we could find a tea stand somewhere around here!

What a fun Friday night at home as a family of 3!

Adoption is not for the weak..

This is a wonderful time of year!  The Christmas tree is up, the christmas CD's are ready to go, the candles are lit, and I have a strange craving for hot chocolate.  I am one blessed momma who is busy keeping her curious little girl from eating the wrapping paper off of the gifts, and keeping the ornaments on the christmas tree.

Photo courtesy Crystal Kowal

However, I cant stop thinking of a friend of mine, who is still waiting to hear news that she will be united with her child before Christmas.  My heart breaks for her,  I do not know the pain she is experiencing right now, but I know that adoption is not for the weak.  I pray that their christmas wish comes true and early, and they are united with their precious daughter soon!

I look back at our adoption journey and smile thinking of how each struggle made us stronger, how wonderful the end result is, how thankful I am for the journey and for the testimony we have of God's faithfulness.  I also remember the tears, the struggle, the weariness.  Adoption is not for everyone.  Adoption is not easy.

I have heard many times from different people that our adoption journey was very easy, that everything went by very quickly.   I usually smile and make up a polite response, but those words often flood my memory with the sleepless nights, the lonely first mothers day, the empty Christmas, it reminds me of the inner struggle that each day brought.  Everyday was too long to be away from our daughter. 

I remember the decision to adopt being easy, but as easy as the decision was, as excited as I was, it took us a long time to deal with and mourn the idea that we would never have a biological child.   It was one of the hardest things I have had to go through physically or emotionally.  

The home study brought incredible vulnerability, having to be so completely honest with someone who would help decide the fate of our family.  Talking about the past in very specific detail, and planning for the future in ways I couldn't imagine. 

the waiting was so hard, sleepless nights, fighting the feeling of hopelessness, waiting for news.  We had zero control over anything.

It seemed like each day brought a new struggle, but it only made us stronger. 

And then we were united with Grace!  The struggles ended! Our life was complete!

Ok... so that isn't true... our struggles have taken on a new form.  No more paperwork, no more phone calls with social services, no more running to the bank to send a cheque with another set of documents, no more sleepless nights longing to hold my daughter. Now I spend sleepless nights holding my sweet daughter, and coaxing her to sleep for even a few minutes.  ( our sleepless nights are getting so much better, but up until a month ago midnight to 4 am was party time in the Wock house).

 We are now dealing with the very real issue of bonding and attachment.  We did our best to prepare ourselves for what bonding would be like and educating our families and friends, but this is not easy.  It is hard to explain why people can not hold Grace, even if she would be willing to go to a stranger, why we can not go out and leave Grace with a babysitter, it is hard to explain the concern we have if she cares if we leave the room.  Bonding is not an overnight thing, and we will experience the struggle in many different stages for a very long time.  

Adoption is not for the weak... 

I am not sharing this post with you because I want you to think of us as heroes.  We are nothing of the sort,  but it hurts me to think that people believe that adoption is easy.  I have had the privilege of getting to know a few adoptive families in the last few years, and they have been through more than you can imagine.  Each story is unique, each story contains incredible struggle, and heartache, and every family would tell you that their child is a blessing, that adopting them was worth everything.  

As I celebrate Christmas this year with my little angel, I remember the families still waiting to be united with their child, I remember the orphan that doesn't have a family to celebrate with.  I am thankful for my blessings.  

Photo Courtesy Don Wayne

playing with her cheerios 

Photo courtesy of Crystal Kowal